Today my doctor told me that the women she sees who have suffered sexual assault that receive good support after the assault usually recover better. Those who are listened to, supported and told that what was done to them was not okay and not their fault are less traumatised in the long term.
That common regrets she hears from mothers are for the times when they didn’t speak up. The times they didn’t advocate for their kids. The times they didn’t rock the boat.
This is a song I know well. I learned it far too young.
It is a song that turns silence into proof of every flavour of self loathing and blame your hungry ghosts care to throw at you.
A silence born of none of that.
Instead a silence born of fear. Of trauma. Born of embarrassment, shame, not knowing what to do or say. Of a society conditioned to deny real grief. A society which whitewashes trauma with spiritual bypassing and victim blaming. That teaches us not to use our voices. Dismisses our No. Wraps our sexuality in shame. Denies our right to safety.
If you want to tell me everything happens for a reason, then perhaps the reason was so we will finally stand up and say FUCK THAT!
It is time to open our hearts. To use our ears to hear the grief and rage of others' pain. It is time to use our voices to express. To affirm and advocate.
To speak up and rock the boat.